January 2012
1 post
December 2011
1 post
Today is one year
It’s been a year since we broke up. We’ve both have girlfriends now and part of me still wants to imagine in 9 days we would be celebrating 2 years of being together. It hurts but sometimes, you gotta push through the hurt to get to what is best for yourself
November 2011
1 post
I miss making love to you..
October 2011
1 post
1 tag
Dream..
Mikey, 2 of her friends from the game last night and I went to one of her friend’s houses. I asked to go to the bathroom to find pills sitting on the counter. I read the bottle and it was pain killers. I downed half the bottle then left the bathroom. I went back to where everyone was at and mikey just knew something was wrong. She started to force me to get in her truck and then I woke up.
...
August 2011
0 posts
July 2011
2 posts
I like joking about finding me a latino girl to...
Bc I love latino food. But now that I have a latino girl wanting to date me, I’m turn if I should date her or not.. I do like her.
June 2011
5 posts
I'm going to accept that nobody wants me.
Nobody, not Arica, not even Adrianna. Everybody leaves for a reason though I guess. It’s hard to not hurt over it though.
Why does it not surprise me...
I just can’t have a relationship without fucking it up…
I don't know what hurts more..
the fact you started dating her the same day we broke up or the fact you want to be in love with her when you just were telling me the day before that you couldnt wait to be married to me…
There is some things I wish I hadn't just read...
I fell like you never really loved me after reading that…
How much do I even matter to you...
Bc i wonder if i even really matter to you…
May 2011
18 posts
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!
SO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW IN REAL LIFE FOUND MY TUMBLR!!!! UGHHH!!!!!!!!
Frankly, it's quite disappointing that Nicole...
Ya know.. That's cool too..
Just willingly try and walk out of my life.. That’s nice..
Personal things that need to be said if the...
Adrianna: I never stopped loving you. I’m so deeply in love with you still that I can’t even feel anything anymore without you being mine.. If given the chance to go back in time, I’d tell myself what not to do so that I wouldn’t have to be in this pain now from my mistakes.. I would do anything to fix all the destruction I caused between us.. My family: Despite how much I...
I get this feeling I won't finish high school...
I feel like I’m gonna kill myself before I graduate..
Dear Bailey,
i-am-a-pandaaa:
Let me start off by saying that YES I am still grounded so keep my internet use to yourself. I know you are having a rough time coping in my absence right now but you’ll make it. I have faith in your tenacity, Kovu. I want you to know that I love you and you are an amazing friend, unfortunately I am not in love with you. You mean a lot to me and I cherish what we have as...
I think about you a lot..
You sit there rotting in my brain. You can’t be removed. Memories and “what ifs” floating in and out but the pain doesn’t really ever go away.
Wishing you would just talk to me, or even ask somebody how I was doing. I can’t bring myself to try talking to you When I don’t even know if you care anymore.
All our plans for the future seem improbable now, so why...
I had this amazing orgasm and I moaned your name.. I immediately realized what I moaned and the orgasm disappeared instantly.. I cried for a good 20 minutes.. I just want all my pain to go away.. I want to just to died…
Ya know,
I really feel like giving up. I have all of one or two people who care if im alive..
My brother is talking about how he doesn't know...
I’m tired of this family’s bull shit…
To my rapists,
dear-fillintheblank:
I have forgiven you. Not because you deserve it or because I’m okay with what happened, but because I have to if I’m ever going to have a chance at living again.
I’m slowly learning to live without all the things you took from me, and replacing them with things like how spring tastes in the morning and the smell of the darkroom and how it feels to finish a poem. I’m opening...
I feel like shit and I'm panicking..
After my senior pictures,
I’m just going to pretty much shave my head. I’m tired of shaggy hair. My mom won’t let me do anything until after senior pictures though.
Truth be told...
I say I wanna send you the ring back but I just can’t bring myself to…
April 2011
21 posts
I'm sorry that I don't matter..
I’m sorry my love can’t make up for my mistakes.. I’m sorry for not being good enough.. I’m sorry I can’t let go as easily as you did.. I’m sorry that lied to you.. I’m sorry for everything.. I just hurt while you seem to just be fine with hurting me..
My mom just thanked me for being the closest thing...
I’m conflicted about if I like that or what.. Because my sister and brother are both so fucked up, I don’t get much attention unless I do something horribly wrong or get good grades on my report card/something better.. I don’t like the idea of having to get hurt either to get attention. I just wish I had been an only child.. Yeah, I might have been lonely. At least I would get...
I keep thinking about sex..
I’m missing being touched.. Hell I miss the feeling of being kissed..
I wish my life meant more to me...
35708.) I know we won't end up together in the...
I remember typing this out..
Adrianna is being hacked by her amazing girlfriend Bailey!! Adrianna is the the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love her so dearly and if i ever lost her, I wouldn’t know what I would do with myself.. She makes me smile and her smile drives me crazy. Everything about her just pulls me in. Everything we talk about just ends up in us laughing and even if we fight, we can make it...
You know,
I feel like nobody even really likes talking to me.. Not even my own girlfriend.. I’m told that when away from me she gets all giggly about me but she never shows it around me. Everybody else has reasons to not talk to me too. “Oh I’m busy.” “I’m grounded.” “My parents are homophobic and they know you’re gay.” Well excuse me for wanting...
My girlfriend's parents found out about her and I...
From her reaction, I don’t think they took it very well.. I wanna try and be there to comfort her but at the same time, I’m not sure if staying with her is the best idea.. Her parents probably wanna kick her out right after graduation… They could now if they really wanted to.. She is 18.. Just my fucking luck though that this would happen… I even tried to make sure I never...
I'm not the liar for once. You are.
For a minute there I was confused why I didn't...
I couldn’t cry in front of my sister.. I felt like I would be weak in her eyes if she saw me crying…
Thats 2 dreams now that you kissed me..
But the way it’s going to happen is I kiss you.. This makes no sense…
I wish I knew how..
I have her but I can’t let go of you… You’re moving on and it’s eating me alive. I don’t even know how I will react if we never are together again..
I couldnt decide on which one so here is two!
I'm selfish.
I would marry a nice traditional latino girl JUST to go to her family’s house all the time and have a nice meal, pretty much every night.
omfg
WHEN DID MY EX START FOLLOWING ME AND WAS NICE!?!?
I wonder every day what my life would've been like...
Alexis(Lexi) Marie Salazar, I miss you. You could make me feel better in a heart beat.. What happened though? After that first year when you moved to Florida, we kinda just stopped talking. Barely texted once I did get a cell. We may say all of about 4 sentences to each other if I IM you first when I see you online but that doesn’t make up for our lack of communication.. You didn’t...
Lately
I’ve been enjoying Symphony class way more. I hated being pushed down to play 2nd part for flute with the Freshman, Larissa, while the Senior, Aki, and Sophomore, Kate, got to play first. Aki isn’t even in a performance class this year and can barely keep up. I’m actually looking forward to the Spring concert now. Kate is playing piccolo and that means I get first. Not only that,...
Way to go you god damn assholes
I stopped talkin to you guys for a fucking reason! You guys made my life hell. I made straight friends to avoid the fucking lesbian group and what do you guys do? Start a god damn rumor about me that I like somebody who I see as like my child. Why the fuck would possess you fucktards to pick me of all people!?! Like really? Why? I don’t fucking ufigsdifhdsa I can’t even express my...
Wanna know a secret?
For about an hour today, I had serious considerations of slitting my throat…
My pillow is really gross from all the crying I've...